I was recently featured in Financial Times, “Investing in young people” special. I received a response from someone that I trusted and personally know that enraged me.
“I wish you would stop the single mother deal. Those words were coined for the purpose of shaming people as a byproduct of law which was heavily influenced by outdated dogma… and I will not be reduced by it by honoring those terms.. A mother is a mother. Whether or not you were married is irrelevant to being a mother. Just like a child is a child and illegitimacy and bastardization is another irrelevant construct. It's a construct of societal shaming and categorizing. If you want to live the label, go ahead. Just never do it around me...." That person says.
NO, I will not accept society's standard in social shaming single unwed mothers. NO, I will not be ashamed. I take pride that I had my daughter, even at a young age. It shaped me to be a better person so I can I be one for her. There are too many young girls and women out there who are being told that they should be ashamed of this. I am not advocating for it, but it is a fact of life. Young, single, unwed pregnancy is an occurrence. Being told by society to be ashamed of this hurts their ego, their self-respect, their confidence, and ability to succeed in life. At a time when young women and girls need confidence and support most so that they can support their children, we are looked down and shunned away by society. For me, at the time that I became pregnant, my education was taken away from me and I was told by my university to stop going to school. NO! I will not be ashamed. My daughter made me who I am. I was once a selfish, shallow, unmotivated, rebellious girl. Having my daughter was a turning point in my life. From going through all the pain of a single unwed pregnancy and being kicked out of school because I was pregnant -- it has made me empathize with people undergoing painful circumstances. It gave me the ability to fight for myself and confidence to show myself that had the ability to make a difference and that I deserved an education. I continued on with life fighting for what I deserved. Discovering, fuelling, and excelling in my passion has given me confidence and made me realize my potential in making a global impact in the the work that I have done, I have mobilized youth from all over the world and played a part in inspiring global action. For having my little girl in this world, I became concerned about her future and her generations well-being. I am passionate about climate change, working and advocating youth leadership, and building a sustainable world because I need to remain confident that we are giving a brighter future to our children and future generations. My parents are supporting my daughter and I, and because of their support, I was able to lead in my passion and all that I stand for. NO! I will not be ashamed to be proud of what made me who I am.
Young women who are in my position need to stand up. We need to stand up for all the young single unwed mothers out there who are constantly being told that they should be ashamed. Our children are our inspiration, our pride, and joy. For those of you who are in my position, you should never tolerate anyone telling you that you should be ashamed of that when you are building a life for your children.
For my daughter, it took a village to raise her. She is the best side of all of us, and definitely the better version of me. Though we did not live a traditional upbringing, she is perfect in every way possible – and I would not trade what we have for the world.
“I wish you would stop the single mother deal. Those words were coined for the purpose of shaming people as a byproduct of law which was heavily influenced by outdated dogma… and I will not be reduced by it by honoring those terms.. A mother is a mother. Whether or not you were married is irrelevant to being a mother. Just like a child is a child and illegitimacy and bastardization is another irrelevant construct. It's a construct of societal shaming and categorizing. If you want to live the label, go ahead. Just never do it around me...." That person says.
NO, I will not accept society's standard in social shaming single unwed mothers. NO, I will not be ashamed. I take pride that I had my daughter, even at a young age. It shaped me to be a better person so I can I be one for her. There are too many young girls and women out there who are being told that they should be ashamed of this. I am not advocating for it, but it is a fact of life. Young, single, unwed pregnancy is an occurrence. Being told by society to be ashamed of this hurts their ego, their self-respect, their confidence, and ability to succeed in life. At a time when young women and girls need confidence and support most so that they can support their children, we are looked down and shunned away by society. For me, at the time that I became pregnant, my education was taken away from me and I was told by my university to stop going to school. NO! I will not be ashamed. My daughter made me who I am. I was once a selfish, shallow, unmotivated, rebellious girl. Having my daughter was a turning point in my life. From going through all the pain of a single unwed pregnancy and being kicked out of school because I was pregnant -- it has made me empathize with people undergoing painful circumstances. It gave me the ability to fight for myself and confidence to show myself that had the ability to make a difference and that I deserved an education. I continued on with life fighting for what I deserved. Discovering, fuelling, and excelling in my passion has given me confidence and made me realize my potential in making a global impact in the the work that I have done, I have mobilized youth from all over the world and played a part in inspiring global action. For having my little girl in this world, I became concerned about her future and her generations well-being. I am passionate about climate change, working and advocating youth leadership, and building a sustainable world because I need to remain confident that we are giving a brighter future to our children and future generations. My parents are supporting my daughter and I, and because of their support, I was able to lead in my passion and all that I stand for. NO! I will not be ashamed to be proud of what made me who I am.
Young women who are in my position need to stand up. We need to stand up for all the young single unwed mothers out there who are constantly being told that they should be ashamed. Our children are our inspiration, our pride, and joy. For those of you who are in my position, you should never tolerate anyone telling you that you should be ashamed of that when you are building a life for your children.
For my daughter, it took a village to raise her. She is the best side of all of us, and definitely the better version of me. Though we did not live a traditional upbringing, she is perfect in every way possible – and I would not trade what we have for the world.
I appreciate your comments. While I had 3 kids before age 25 I felt ashamed to be unwed and stayed in an abusive relationship that I should have ended. I went to college pregnant and felt so out of place but I pushed on. Now I'm working on my Master in Urban Planning. Your comments remind me to encourage others to embrace strength and uniqueness, and to not fear blazing their own trails in life. Thanks E!
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